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Joke of the Day

"How many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just compliment it and get pissed when it wont screw."

"My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy... ...so I went out and got drunk."

"""Hello, Pizza Hut"" Hi, how many slices are on a large pizza? ""eight"" And a medium? ""eight"" *long pause* I'd like to speak with your manager"

"Any party is an ugly sweater party if you're ugly and you sweat a lot"

"Gandhi once got into a food fight... It was naan violence."

"Dutch Girl I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs."

"What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle, and a poorly dressed woman on a tricycle? Attire"

"What is the cheapest type of meat? Deer testicles. They're under a buck."

"What kind of music does an inspired Latin fish listen to? Carp E.D.M. Credit to my friend for this one."

"What did the druggie scientist say when he got high on Helium? He He"