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Joke of the Day

"When British people get something stuck in their teeth, it's usually just another tooth."

"In the Garden of Eden, Eve wore a fig leaf. Do you know what Adam wore? A hole in it."

"HER [sits seductively on my lap] The more you tip...the more I'll take off ME [reaches for wallet] This is such a weird way to cut hair"

"My neighbors are organizing something called a ""fun run"". This shit never happened when I lived in my car."

"How many feminists does it take screw in a lightbulb? One she holds it in the socket and waited for the world to revolve around her."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotapus."

"Why was the skeleton embarrassed? Because he had a boner."

"Still hope to be part of a wordless briefcase exchange someday."

"Why cant Schizophrenics be alcoholics? because they never drink alone."

"""Remember Robert from work?"" Yeah..he was a douche. ""He died."" WHAT?!? OMG..He was such a nice guy!"