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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when you're breastfeeding and nothing comes out? A milk dud."

"Caveman1: look, I invent wheel Caveman2: what we do now? Caveman1: wait for Jesus to take wheel Caveman2: dum dum Jesus not invented yet"

"Perry was busy building a defensive palisade around the Musketeer compound, but it was leaning over badly. Suddenly Porthos spots the enemy and yells 'Attack! Perry, REPOST!'"

"At Comic Con, all I could think was how happy these people's moms must be to have the house to themselves for a few hours."

"What is my ex girlfriend's favorite hands on day in math class? Manipulatives. god i'm so lonely"

"What does it mean to be an Agnostic with insomnia and dyslexia? You stay up all night wondering if there is a dog."

"My jokes are like cancer Only my dad gets it."

"Why does Victoria beckham shave her twat? Because he can't be trusted with the razor."

"One good thing about pedophiles....! At least they drive slow in school zones...!"

"[boss calls me to office] We found a lot of disgusting porn on your computer. Thats a matter of opinion. Some may say it's the right amount."