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Joke of the Day

"What is my ex girlfriend's favorite hands on day in math class? Manipulatives. god i'm so lonely"

"If the tongue is a muscle I want your pussy to be my gym"

"What do you call a ghost chicken? A poultry-geist!"

"My wife told me I had to choose My wife walked in and told me I had to choose. Her or reddit.... I'm sure going to miss her."

"Q: What's the differents between Bill Clinton and an elephant? A: About 20 pounds and a jogging suit."

"Why did the French chef kill himself? He lost the huile d'olive"

"ant-man: im here to stop u bad guy: [pulls out a can of Raid] ant-man: motherf"

"I remember when I was gay It was a real pain in the ass."

"Two babys at the birth ward... ...one baby says to the other.""i'm a boy"" to with the other reply:""how do you know?"". the first baby pulls the blanket to the side and says:""look i got blue socks on"""

"Infatuation prick is the answer, what is the question? How do you want your wontons cooked?"