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Joke of the Day
"Why did the bee go to the doctor? Because he had hives Badum tsh"
Next Joke
"I hope we're past the point in naval technology where loose lips still have the potential to sink ships."
"Did you see the movie about oil and water? It's immiscible."
"I rely too much on Outlook. My calendar has ""leave work"" at 6, ""brush teeth"" tonight at 11, and a ""blink"" alert recurring every 2.5 seconds."
"If you were 8 years old when ""red, red wine"" was released UB40 now."
"Black magic is just like regular magic, but with bigger wands."
"*lil wayne begins typing lyrics into mocrosoft word* *paperclip pops onto screen* Do you mean ""digger""?"
"How do you tell the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Taste."
"I can't believe my girlfriend just called me old fashioned And with her ankles showing, the slut"
"My iPhone corrects ""WHOA"" to ""WHOSE"", which just made my text response to ""I JUST HAD A BABY!!!"" a little awkward."