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Joke of the Day

"Latest Apple news: Tablet rumours a hoax. Apple to unveil new iPhone with rotary dial in plan to dominate senior demographic."

"I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging Ever since then, my muggings have been a lot more successful!"

"iPhone 5s fitted with fingerprint recognition. I'll sleep easier knowing that if my phone gets stolen, they'll likely chop off my hand too."

"What vegetable is the favourite of British people? Queuecumbers."

"How can we know atheism exists? Where's the evidence?"

"My therapist gave me a pamphlet on anger management I lost it."

"My friend owns a popular graveyard People are dying to get in."

"Q: Why is Bill infuriated with Chelsea's new private school? A: They broke family tradition by making her wear a uniform."

"*ref blows whistle* Whistle: oh, oh god, wow. Oh geeeze"

"Never drink water while studying It'll dilute your concentration"