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Joke of the Day

"Latest Apple news: Tablet rumours a hoax. Apple to unveil new iPhone with rotary dial in plan to dominate senior demographic."

"I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night. I should have used aloha setting."

"When I find myself saying something stupid, I finish by saying ""in this economy"" because that resonates with people in this economy."

"What's the difference between ignorance and arrogance? I don't know, and I don't care."

"Ey gurl, are you a TSA agent? Because I've got an unattended package I think you should investigate."

"Why did the dog sit in the front seat of the car? Because the car had a sun ""woof""! Yes, I made this up myself. Yes, I have no friends."

"What do mathematicians think about exponential functions? They're radical."

"A step-by-step guide on how to parallel park! 1) Park somewhere else."

"My mate reckons he can tighten nuts and bolts just by sitting on them. Personally I think he torques out of his arse..."

"Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!"