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Joke of the Day

"I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night. I should have used aloha setting."

"Leaving early on a Friday and saying, ""Have a good weekend!"" to people who have to work a full day is like dancing in front of a paraplegic."

"Sometimes when my dogs piss me off I put their leashes on them, then I sit on the toilet for 20 mins and make them watch."

"Why was the neighbor mad at the Mars rover speeding around her neighborhood? Because Curiosity killed her cat"

"Why didn't Jesus like to play hockey? He didn't like getting nailed to the boards."

"Who will take the second shot in this snooker game? Find out after the break."

"Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends...? Because he's married. ;_; (I'll see myself out)."

"After weeks of speculation that the new pope would be black... ...alter boys at the Vatican are letting out a collective sigh of relief"

"Every time you get a haircut, you're essentially returning your last haircut and exchanging it for the exact same thing"

"Due to the impending snowstorm on the east coast The center for Global Warming research will be closed due to blizzard until further notice."