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Joke of the Day

"My mate reckons he can tighten nuts and bolts just by sitting on them. Personally I think he torques out of his arse..."

"Everyone has something they do after sex like taking a shower. I just get out of my uncles car, and cry all the way home."

"Why don't people tell Jim Jones jokes? The punchline is too long."

"Hope you all aren't too good for knock knock jokes Knock knock. ""who's there?"" 9/11 ""9/11 who?"" Wow.. And you said you would never forget."

"What do you call a dinosaur prisoner that drops the soap during shower time? Buttholeissaurus-wreckt"

"How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime? He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy"

"Did you know that 69 is now 96? With this worsening economy, it costs a lot more to eat out."

"In my life Ive spent 90% of my money on drugs, drinking and women. The other 10% I wasted."

"Freaking out people walking round the cemetery dressed as a Ghostbuster."

"People only want to do drugs named after women: Mary Jane, Molly, Lucy (in the Sky with Diamonds). No one wants to snort some Craig."