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Joke of the Day

"[pun] I wanted to be a personal trainer... But I was too scrawny and had to hand in my too weak notice. (Credits to Adrian, badass Chef)"

"A man walks into a bar. A man walks into a bar and takes a seat. The bartender looks up and shouts at him, ""Hey, where the fuck are you going with my bar stool?!"""

"What is the difference between a blonde and a hen? The blonde doesn't sit still when she is on eggs."

"[texting in 1918] *pigeon delivers message* *msg reads: I don't love you* *turns to u* why would u send this? ""it was 6 days ago. I was mad"""

"How do they fit so many islands into such a small bottle of dressing??!!"

"Just saw a poor girl crying in the library, devastated about something. So I pulled up a chair, leaned in and told her, ""You can shut up or go outside, I've got an exam tomorrow""."

"How does Bob Marley like his donuts? After a couple of spliffs."

"Four years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"You don't see faith healers in hospitals for the same reason you don't see psychics winning the lottery."

"Why did the semen cross the road? I put on the wrong sock this morning"