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Joke of the Day
"My boss told me that I have to stop masturbating at work. I didn't think my patients minded."
Next Joke
"The burrito I ate for lunch today just sent me a push notification."
"Hey you with the Uggs, Michael Kors bag, iPhone, scarf and super excited voice.. *70 million white women turn around*"
"So, I was at work the other day and... My manager asked, ""How good are you at PowerPoint?"" I said, ""I Excel at it."" He replied, ""Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"" I was like, ""Word."""
"What's the difference between Putin and Poutine? Umm... I don't know ... I've got nothing."
"Shout out to vegetarians for never having ant problems. All ant scouts find is broccoli crumbs and despair, and who wants to feed on that."
"What do vegetables watch when they're feeling frisky? Cornography"
"My mom told me to only say sorry if I've killed someone sorry mom"
"What does DJ Kahled say when he wants another taco? Another, Juan"
"best nicknames: 1) Nick 2) 3)"