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Joke of the Day

"So, I was at work the other day and... My manager asked, ""How good are you at PowerPoint?"" I said, ""I Excel at it."" He replied, ""Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"" I was like, ""Word."""

"Figured this is an appropriate time to tell this. What is an Undertaker's favorite element? Barium."

"Inventor of the bar code dies at 91. Several burial attempts will be made before a manager is called to enter him into the ground manually."

"What do you call a guy who screams, ""I love you, mom!"" every time he climaxes? Me."

"Why didn't the ghost have any babies? Because he had a Halloweenie! (Hollow-weenie)"

"Budweiser is like sex on the beach... It's fucking close to water"

"I forgot my phone so I asked this guy what time it was. He said ""time to get a watch"" & laughed. So I kicked him in the balls. It was 6:30."

"How do we know the Earth was born on April 22nd?"

"Me: Ugh! I never know what to say in these situations... Friend: You say 'good morning' back"

"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? I take my boots off to jump on the trampoline."