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Joke of the Day

"My mom told me to only say sorry if I've killed someone sorry mom"

"There's a man with two penises? That's nothing, I once knew a guy with FIVE penises... ...and his pants fit like a glove."

"What does primate meat taste like? Oh, it has sort of an orangutang to it."

"There's no place like home. (to poop)"

"A programmer walks into a bar. Barman ask him if he wants ""beer or whiskey"", he responded ""yes"""

"What's the best way to throw-up ?? Put a finger deep in your mouth and another one on your ass, if it still not working, inverse the fingers."

"Why didn't the Mexican go bow hunting? Because he didn't habanero"

"I don't blame people for not wanting Merrick Garland in the Supreme Court I would be scared too if I had to work with the Incredible Hulk in his later years."

"What do you call an elephant that no one needs? Irrelephant."

"""But... I can fix us!"" the rocket scientist sobbed, as his wife picked up her suitcase. ""Jim,"" she whispered. ""This isn't rocket science."""