163207

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between Reddit and a fetish party? You might actually get me to sub here."

"Daughter (5): ""Daddy your tummy is big and bouncy just like our trampoline"" Me: ""Well you're short and can't spell chrysanthemum"""

"Germany vows revenge after Brazil's goal yesterday This must not go unpunished"

"I decided to show off my six pack on Tinder. Budweiser is not getting me any dates."

"Unless you fell off the treadmill and smashed your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout."

"Asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, ""A way out"" wasn't the right answer."

"I was dancing with a girl in a nightclub. ""What are we going to do after this?"" I asked her. She said, ""How does sex sound?"" I said, ""Soggy."""

"How many Surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? *fish*"

"Why did.. Q : Why did Manchester United go to Stamford Bridge? A : Four Nothing"

"I bought my girlfriend a fridge for our anniversary... I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it."