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Joke of the Day

"I was dancing with a girl in a nightclub. ""What are we going to do after this?"" I asked her. She said, ""How does sex sound?"" I said, ""Soggy."""

"How did the Hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool"

"A Chess Shop A man walks into a chess shop, and going over to the small asian manager, he asks if he can purchase a piece. The manager says, ""Oh sure. Take a rook."""

"Glad the NBA lockout is over. That was like the worst thing that happened to black people, ever."

"What do you call a fish with no eye? (x-post: /r/badjokes) Fsh."

"Be careful when you're watching a movie with your wife. You're gonna get blamed for whatever the guy in the movie does."

"I met Cosby once and I remember him being just a wonderful person. I don't remember much after that."

"Why did the woman's visit to wall street land her in the hospital? Because the stock broker!"

"I just want to live in a world where people come with on/off switches."

"President Obama had lunch today with Hillary Clinton. Hillary told the president, ""After phoning my top advisers, I think I'll run for office."" And the president said, ""I know. I listened in."""