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Joke of the Day

"Asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, ""A way out"" wasn't the right answer."

"maybe she's born with it, maybe it's compulsive engagement in pleasurable habits despite their negative consequences"

"Scientist: Finally, my modeling algorithm 'Predicting Cat Behavior' is complete! Cat: *walks across the keyboard, deleting the file*"

"Did you hear about the guy that ran the erectile dysfunction support group? He had to disband the group because he couldn't raise enough members."

"[Voice from police helicopter] PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! *raises hands* *takes flattering selfie in helicopter spotlight* *uploads new avi*"

"So, I heard a celebrity was stabbed the other day... It was Reece something... Reece... Witherspoon? No, with a knife!"

"I live in Zimbabwe. My favorite rapper is 50 cent. Or as we like to call him, 400 million dollars."

"how many feet does the centipede use while running only 98, the other 2 are swinging"

"To get your ""porn star name,"" take the street you grew up on and see whether it's in a low-income area with a high rate of domestic abuse."

"Why did the hacker start selling his services? So he could make his 4Chan."