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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I hide my wife's inhaler.... The neighbours think I am a stud when they hear her panting heavily ""give it to me!"""

"I'm optimistic that within my lifetime it will become acceptable to wear your underwear to the supermarket."

"To anyone who has a problem with pedophiles: Grow up."

"What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bath? One has hope in her soul..."

"Me: lets go on a date Her: umm Me: what could go wrong *25 minutes later we are being chased by a pack of raccoons*"

"The Jewish Dilemma... Free Pork"

"While falling down an enclosed space that leads to the laundry room, two heterosexual cats hugged eachother in love embracing themselves before their death. It was CHUTE!"

"I organized a threesome last night! There were 2 no-shows, but I still had a good time."

"What has four legs and can fly? Two Birds!"

"""This won't end well, mark my words. Mark, my words. MARK. MY WORDS! I NEED MY WORDS, MARK!!!"" *Mark sweatily fumbles with the script*"