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Joke of the Day

"All the while you have been waiting for 2016.. and suddenly comes 2015S :D"

"What are the most common 3 words used all around the world? Made in China."

"Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend? Because they're both roasted"

"Damn girl are you playboy magazine? Cause holy fuck you have a pile of issues"

"What makes Skrillex skillful at the chemistry lab? He rocks at *dropping the base.*"

"Police Officer: Why were you speeding? Women Driver: I was late for traffic school."

"It feels like Robert De Niro just walks onto random film sets and says ""I'm in this now."""

"Me: Shot through the heart 911: What is your location? Me: And you're to blame 911: Pardon? Me: You give love a bad name 911: I'm hanging up"

"My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for my birthday. It's nice, but I think they misunderstood me when I said ""I wanna watch"""

"I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted at me so loudly, I almost fell in."