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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend? Because they're both roasted"

"We should send Uma Thurman to Japan She's good at fighting 8.8's"

"in 1st grade a kid teased me by saying the pink power ranger was my girlfriend, which, man, that would have been quite a pull for a 6-yr-old"

"I found some good cookie recipes with weed the other day. Then I was like, ""That's a weird place to keep cookie recipes""."

"I bought a great book today: The History of Krazy Glue I can't put it down"

"A traffic jam is like a bad marriage... ...you're stuck in it because of an accident."

"Husband to daughter's boyfriend... ...""Glad to finally meet you. I've noticed you in our food budget for some time now."""

"Why don't women need to go to college? Because it doesn't take four years to learn how to make a sandwich."

"What do you call a trumpet on a leash? A trumPET *Edit Also why is this Marked Politics?"

"How do you know if someone is a socialist? Don't worry, they'll tell you."