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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama so fat her nickname is ""Lardo"""

"Two Irishmen walk out of a bar. Wait, what am I saying? That'll never happen. Never mind."

"Do let me know if you're ever unhappy with any of my Tweets. I will block you immediately. Anything to stop you being sad. You're welcome :)"

"I was never good at French in school. Just remembering how to say ""bread"" is le pain."

"A group of lions is called a pride. A group of my family members is called an embarrassment"

"What is the internet's predominant religion? Cat-holic-ism. Meow!"

"How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. It's a hardware problem."

"I just ate a silica salt packet and I've been using a plastic bag as a toy because I live life on the motherfucking edge."

"For a while Houdini used trap doors in every act It was a stage he was going through"

"The field sobriety test was going ok until I grabbed two traffic cones and did a Madonna impersonation."