162851

Joke of the Day

"Why is Santa's sack so full? Because he only comes once a year"

"Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? You said you'll never forget....."

"My mate got run over this morning by a limousine, it took fucking ages..."

"You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen."

"I went to see a palm reader. ""Judging by your palms,"" he said, ""I can tell that you masturbate frequently."" ""Sorry,"" I apologised, ""I should probably wipe that off."""

"Why did Dairy Queen get pregnant? ...Because Burger King didn't wrap his whopper"

"Floyd Mayweather got off again even when there was a video of him beating her. Because it was so boring the jury walked out half way through."

"""I'd hit that if I was drunk."" - Me, driving by a mailbox just now."

"Because they need to bring young people to the church, insiders say the front runner for Pope is Seth MacFarlane."

"You know something, Jon Snow Lord Commander: ""So, Jon Snow, is it true you have lain with a Wildling girl?"" Jon Snow: ""Yes, sir, it is true. But I have no Ygrittes."""