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Joke of the Day

"I may not show up to work on time, but dammit I leave early."

"Jeffery Dahmer Did you know Jeffery Dahmer used to cut off his victims noses, put them on pizza and eat them? He called it Dahmer-nose pizza."

"What's six foot three, black, and won an Independent Spirit Award for Best Male Lead in To Sleep with Anger Danny Glover."

"Friend: You know that country song that goes- Me: No."

"Me: If Obi-Wan's clothes remained after Vader killed him, then why wasn't ghost Obi-Wan naked? My date: [to waiter] Check, please."

"Hey Guys! They brought back Angry Beavers! Isn't it great? Its been renamed to The View, however..."

"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket. and thinks ""Some asshole has my pen""."

"Did you know the government can drug test our water supply?! That's why I never piss near a toilet. Instead - I piss on your mom. Shes by the trash.... (not the toilet)"

"What did the Italian dressing say to the French dressing? Nothing. Dressings don't have arms"

"Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a Six offender."