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Joke of the Day

"My favorite episode of Friends is the one where blacks mysteriously vanish and unemployed white people find affordable housing in Manhattan."

"Roses are black... ...Violets are black, Everything is black, I'm Ray Charles."

"I can't wait for MTV's next reality show about car wash employees that hold in farts until they're cleaning the inside of your car."

"Why is it a bad idea to wear tiny shorts on a Ukranian holiday? Chernobyl fallout."

"Where do you drown a hipster? The Mainstream."

"My wife tied me up before sex last night She then rolled over and went to sleep."

"I cheated on my wife once. We were playing monopoly and when she wasn't looking I stole some of her money. Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister."

"Twitter. /twt.r/ (noun) Twit-ur: an omnidirectional toxic sludge pump for the lame and unfunny musings of the imbecilic masses."

"My doctor said my blood sodium level is apparently too high but I take everything with a grain of salt."

"How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend to his parents? Meat patty"