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Joke of the Day

"School says strangers are handing out lick on LSD tattoos. I told my kids not to worry, no one is giving out good shit like that for free"

"The best way to keep your new iPhone from getting stolen is to have a case on it that makes it look like a Blackberry."

"I lost both of my arms today... its ok though. I've learned to embrace it"

"Why can't Caitlyn Jenner's kids ever find her? Because she's Transparent."

"Whoever coined the phrase ""Quiet as a mouse"" has never stepped on one."

"If a genie grants you 3 wishes, use the first one to make the genie develop short term memory loss, and then keep making 2nd wishes forever."

"I think Mayweather misread the boxing guidebook You're suppose to hug your girlfriend and beat the enemy fighter."

"Harrison Ford crashed because he saw three people urinating into one of the holes. See 3 pee O (C3PO)"

"Give me your best Chuck Norris joke. ^"

"So Curtis Jackson filed for class 11 bankruptcy. Turns out he's only worth 50 Cent."