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Joke of the Day

"Give me your best Chuck Norris joke. ^"

"Straight marriage, gay marriage, whatever. Just stop showing me pictures of your kids and we're cool."

"Smelled my finger after I took the bandaid off of it. Don't do that."

"Two cows are standing in a field. One cow turns to the other and says, ""Did you hear about that outbreak of mad cow disease?"" The other one looks at him and says, ""Good thing I'm a helicopter."""

"At first it was hard for me to come to terms with trainsexual Then I saw the light at the end of the tunnel"

"""Mommy, why did Santa decide to deliver presents on Jesus' birthday."" Shits about to get REALLY dishonest up in here."

"What do you call a Black man flying a plane? ..A pilot you fuckin racists"

"Even my cats are sick of the snow..They meow to go out..I open the door..and they freeze and look at me like ""WHY is this shit still here?"""

"I think my family is really going to dig the 15 minute powerpoint I've created of the things I am thankful for at Thanksgiving dinner."

"Earliest-known Ten Commandments tablet sells at auction for $850000 Bumping Apple off the top spot for most expensive mobile device without a headphone jack."