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Joke of the Day

"Four years ago I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"What do you call it when two Mexicans were in a car accident and one had both legs amputated? Juan and a half"

"1) Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator? Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off."

"How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring."

"Wife: You should cut the grass. Me: Yes, dear. W: And, you really need to trim that bush. M: *mumbles* Yeah, you too. W: What? M: Yes, dear."

"Why dont they have Drivers Education and Sex Education class on the same day in Iran Because it would kill the camel"

"What is the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your parents you're gay."

"Which place has the strongest gravity in the whole universe? Bed"

"Why are pedophiles so full of themselves? They only have sex with people who look up to them."

"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? It might me a little to get hard, I just got laid by some chick. EDIT: ""take me a little while"""