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Joke of the Day

"At first I was worried about my eyesight, but my doctor said I was fine. As a matter of fact, he said that in 5 years I should have 20-20 vision!"

"I dated a girl once who turned out to be a cannibal. That really came back to bite me in the ass."

"How do u kill a blonde paraplegic with one arm hanging from a tree? Wave"

"The Cleveland Browns Thats it"

"""ranch goes with everything"" i whisper while placing a bottle of ranch in grandma's coffin"

"Why is Waldo always wearing striped clothing? because he doesn't want to be spotted"

"Listen, I'll let you borrow any Disney movie I've got except for one. I'm never gonna give you Zootopia. I'm a fucking furry. *Gotcha!*"

"When I was a younger man girls used to ""check me out"". Now women just ""keep an eye on me"""

"Do people lifting with their knees and backs know about using their hands?"

"Why do white people's feet get so dirty? They walk on the sins of their ancestors."