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Joke of the Day
"How do u kill a blonde paraplegic with one arm hanging from a tree? Wave"
Next Joke
"About to go for a run, because shoplifting"
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Slap a man with the same fish and the video will go viral in under 48 hours. #Truth"
"How do you organise a space party? You planet!"
"""Dad, why isn't there chocolate meatloaf?"" - my brilliant 3 year old son Patrick"
"What do you call a pessimistic pelican? A pelican't."
"The New England Patriots deflate balls to win a game... and get punished with a low pressure system."
"I ride a dog to work... The commute's a bitch!"
"People as ticklish as me shouldn't get pedicures. I've kicked this Asian in the face twice already."
"I want to die the same way I was born. Naked, screaming, and covered in blood."