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Joke of the Day

"""ranch goes with everything"" i whisper while placing a bottle of ranch in grandma's coffin"

"Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun."

"What do you call a monkey in a minefield? A Baboom!"

"I'm starting to think my crippled neighbor is gay. I am not sure if I should call him a fruit or a vegetable"

"It's raining. I'm going to be late for work. I can't fit my hair in the car."

"I could tell you a bad, groan-worthy pun about an angry bowler who lashes out and ""strikes"" a fellow bowler, but I'll spare you."

"Y'know what really brings out the inner child in you? Abortion"

"To screw in a light bulb, how many Yodas does it take?"

"I'm a really big supporter of gay marriage... Mostly because I believe one day there will be a law that will allow you to shoot gay guys. And when that day comes, it will be much easier to find them."

"i need a hug(e amount of cash money)"