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Joke of the Day

"Gotta admire the Nazi's ethics on medical research... ...since they advanced the field without hurting any animals."

"This Jew says to me ""The 90s called, they want their shoes back."" ""The 40s called, your shower's ready."""

"World population will soon pass 7 billion, over twice the people of just 50 years ago, and I can still only find about 3 that I can stand."

"Ever been in the middle of writing a great tweet and think, did I just run someone over?"

"Why did the Weimar Republic ban balloons? Because of the Hyperinflation."

"Out for the Count by Esau Stars"

"7yo: I'M REALLY MAD AT YOU MOMMA SO I'M GOING TO BED EARLY Me: OH NO. NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT"

"[my cell phone rings] ME (a person who pays a monthly fee to allow this): Ugh why is this happening"

"Did you get those yoga pants on sale? Because at my house they're 100% off,"

"Two shoes met and.. They had a converse-ation."