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Joke of the Day

"My girl friend is a sex object. When I ask for sex, she objects."

"I remember the first time I used a Universal Remote Control I thought to myself: ""Well, this changes everything."""

"What's the technical term for a female-to-male sex change operation? A strapadictomy."

"A woman on the subway this morning said ""did you know the government is closed? Is it a holiday or something?"" So really, we deserve this."

"What's the difference between a tropical beach and a priest? One gets sun on your skin and the other gets skin on your son."

"Not really getting much out of this Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, to be honest. It's almost as if my 6yo had never used PowerPoint before"

"bad ""it's so hot...."" one-liners Two that I came up with... It's so hot that Stryper sang ""To Today With the Devil"" It's so hot that Karen Carpenter ate an ice cream sandwich. your turn!"

"[Wife walks in wearing nothing but whipped cream] Oh my god, Linda, it's like you've never even heard of ants."

"i know i'm getting old because i'm grumpy, i sleep early, and the devil appears with an empty hourglass whenever i shut my medicine cabinet"

"Whats the smartest thing to come out of a womans mouth? Albert Einsteins cock"