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Joke of the Day

"Terry wogans head stene is to be left blankity blank"

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"How do you get Lady Gaga attention? P-p-p-poke her face."
"How many jews can u fit in a Volkswagen? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and about 6 million in the ashtray. .."
"Life is basically all the stuff you have to do to get from coffee time to whiskey time."
"Three nuns are sitting on a park bench. Then a man comes up and exposes himself to them. Two of them have a stroke. But the third one couldn't reach"
"I saw a documentary about how ships are held together It was riveting"
"how wide is the universe? how long is a piece of string theory"
"Therapist: what's your problem today? Me: I have this constant eye roll. Therapist: stop reading your own tweets."
"If I were Brian Cranston every day I'd drive to Jiffy Lube & say ""I dunno it just seems to be braking bad!"" Then we would laugh & do meth."
"Illegal immigration jokes.. are borderline offensive"