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Joke of the Day

"Use this to start a conversation with a stranger. ""On a hot day nothing feels more relaxing then butt chugging a slushy. Say, do you have a funnel?"""

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? (From u/cherryslurpee) I won't pay 100 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"""There's a guy that jumped off the Pont Neuf!"" He must be in Seine."

"One potato asks another: -""Are you sure we are related?"" -""Yes I yam!"""

"How many karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb? When this gets 500 upvotes, I'll tell you the answer."

"Welcome to Insomnia Club. God dammit Bob. BOB. Steve wake Bob up. Steve?"

"How do you know when Santa Claus is nearby ? You can feel his presents ..."

"Schrodinger's cat walk into a bar And then it didnt."

"Monks teach peace and harmony, but they sure do seem to like resistance.. Ohmmmmmm."

"Why wont ISIS bomb my local Walmart? ...because its not a Target."