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Joke of the Day

"My daughter said she was in a memoir. I was intrigued until I realized what she said was meme war. Whatever tickles your fancy, Love."

"America is in the labor room right now... Within 24 hours we will know if it's a boy or a girl."

"Whats the most dyslectic part of Asia? Croatia!"

"""I'm thinking of running a marathon again."" I told my friend. ""You've run a marathon before?"" she asked, with an air of admiration. I said, ""No, but I've thought about it."""

"Most fucked up joke I ever heard (nsfw) The moment when you eat out your grandma, taste horse semen and think to yourself ""So this must be how she died""."

"Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl.... not on my watch."

"What do you call a terrible pun? A puntastropie."

"My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the nudist colony. I was born ready."

"Who is the greatest painter of this century? Pigcasso!"

"Half-Life 3's release date."