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Joke of the Day

"My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the nudist colony. I was born ready."

"i am 1/8 native american ! dont see it ? i oppressed it ."

"I stay away from granny Smith. She's just too tart for me."

"TIFU: I ate my boss' sandwich out of the work fridge! Oops. Wrong sub."

"Coca-cola should make a Coca-cola flavored candy cane and call it a Coke Cane."

"I always have a note in my pocket that says ""john did it"" just in case I'm murdered because I don't want him to remarry #truelove #tips"

"I was doing some DIY the other day and took out my step ladder... I don't get on with my real ladder."

"Turns out ""pick the biggest one & punch him in the face"" gets you more respect as a new prisoner than as a new 1st grade substitute teacher."

"Pizza Hut: Hello Me: I'd like a hot dog bites pizzas PH: Pick up or delivery? Me: Based on that order, you think I get off the couch?"

"Why did the Police hurry over to the Black Lives Matter Riot? To beat the crowd!"