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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a terrible pun? A puntastropie."
Next Joke
"It's goofy when people pretend to zip their mouth closed to indicate keeping a secret. ""Your secret is well guarded... behind a zipper"""
"A man in tights was found near a rock. What happened? Superman committed suicide."
"How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex? Call her and tell her."
"What does the study of magnetism and self abuse have in common? The Right Hand Rule."
"Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts."
"Left my iPod in the Washer and Dryer... I accidentally left my iPod in the washer and dryer, and when I took it out, all of my songs with explicit lyrics had been deleted."
"If a serial killer commits suicide, you can console his family by saying, ""hey, at least he died doing what he loved"""
"What do you call the cookbook of the dead? The Necrinom-nom-nomicon"
"5yo: [crying] I teddy at home! He'll be sad that I abandoned them! Me: Want to call him & apologize? 5: You don't have his phone number."