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Joke of the Day

"""I'm thinking of running a marathon again."" I told my friend. ""You've run a marathon before?"" she asked, with an air of admiration. I said, ""No, but I've thought about it."""

"I asked my band teacher to raise my F He gave me an FF instead."

"Why were the breakfast potatoes running around hitting each other? HashTag!"

"What do you call a rainbow of Jeeps in the driveway? Roy Jeep Biv"

"In what month are Rabbis dishonest? Jew-lie"

"What do you call a nun lost in the woods? A Roamin Catholic."

"Why was the neighbor mad at the Mars rover speeding around her neighborhood? Because Curiosity killed her cat"

"Just saw a guy at the gym with only 1 arm. If that's not motivation, I don't know what is? Seriously, I don't know, I'm leaving..."

"An American and a Finn are drinking in a bar... After an hour, the American says ""ahh, this is good beer."" The Finn says ""Are we drinking or talking?"""

"I have decided to start a strict vegetarian diet Starting tonight I will enjoy a nice thick steak. Cows are the most delicious of the strict vegetarians"