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Joke of the Day

"And then God said: Let women have infallible memory. But technology said: And screenshots, just in casies."

"Him: Are you mad? Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: typing Her: No, I'm fine, why?"

"ME (a ghost): You know how Bill Nye used to say ""don't try this at home""? Well, I did, and he kicked in the door and shot me in the face."

"Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza."

"I got my eyes on you One eye, talking to a another eye, say ""I don't know about you but something between us smells"""

"ME: who's a good boy *kissy noises* DOG: I just murdered the cat ME: you are, yes you are *rubs dog's head* DOG: you're next buddy"

"I'm working out again in hopes that I can wear my superhero shirt in public without someone saying, ""Batman really let himself go""."

"My apartment looks like a Sims house before you figure out the cheat code for unlimited money."

"Germany loses at home, and Japan beats America in overtime... M. Night Shyamalan's pitch for a World War II movie."

"What does a dyslexic klan member hate? Gingers"