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Joke of the Day

"Does anyone else believe in solipsism or is it just me?"

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"if all my friends jumped off a cliff I wouldn't do it too because cats can land on their feet they'll be fine"
"What did the water say to the boat? Nothing. It just waved."
"Why does the Mexican Olympic team always do so badly? Because anyone who can swim, run, or climb is already in America."
"What tastes great on pie but bad on pussy? Crust"
"If twitter users are sued, lawyers will have to analyse over 4 giggs of data. Imogen that..."
"Having children teaches you patience, humility, love and to never, ever, be surprised when you find a Barbie doll leg clogging the toilet."
"I'm not racist. I treat everybody like they're black."
"Donations Person: ""Please donate to the local swimming pool"" Me: *Gives a glass of water*"
"Forrest Gump came out 20 years ago. Can you believe that?! Of course you can because you're not an idiot who doesn't know how time works."