124639

Joke of the Day

"if all my friends jumped off a cliff I wouldn't do it too because cats can land on their feet they'll be fine"

"Is it just me, or are birds really popular lately? I know several people who are having ""superb owl"" parties next month"

"What happens in Vegas will most likely cost you a fortune in dry cleaning."

"I pooped in 8 stores today. New record. 2 of them had restrooms."

"Why do prison guards use Proactive? To prevent further breakouts."

"Chumlee was arrested for sexual assault, drugs, and guns. Do you think Rick will go to the court and haggle down his sentence?"

"What do you call an 83 year old black man? Dick Gregory"

"No one in traffic ever catches me eatin boogers cause u all textin and drivin"

"I'm worried about my relationship with my anorexic girlfriend... ...I'm seeing less and less of her each day."

"*Robber runs into Chipotle* GIMME THE MONEY IN THE REGISTER ""Is this for here or to go?"" Uh. To go ""Do you want guac?"" Sure ""It's extra"""