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Joke of the Day

"If twitter users are sued, lawyers will have to analyse over 4 giggs of data. Imogen that..."

"[museum] Wheres the dinosaur bone exhibit? ""through that door"" Thank you very ruff! ""What'd you say?"" *2 dogs fall out of trench coat & run*"

"The mohel Q: Did you hear about the short sighted mohel? A: He got the sack."

"I've never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot."

"ADHD is ADD in high definition."

"co-pilot: ""ask in a way that won't panic everyone"" pilot: ""ok"" [via intercom] ""is there a fireman on the plane?"""

"Why do people assume I know all about computers just because I'm from India? That makes so I angry I just want to 01010010101010101010101"

"Cop: Lemme see your papers Me: Okay Cop: These are rolling papers Me: Would you look at that Cop: Sir are you high? Me: What are you, a cop?"

"What's the difference between inlaws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted!"

"Q: What do a telephone and a dog have in common? A: They both have collar ID."