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Joke of the Day

"What did the water say to the boat? Nothing. It just waved."

"I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass."

"I've never seen a workplace Hanukkah display that didn't shout, ""We legally had to do this."""

"It's been a great year, it fact, it was so great... I remember like it was yesterday."

"No matter how prepared you think you are, a retractable vacuum cord will always find the weakness in your defense."

"I needed to clean my FleshLight, i heard they were dishwasher safe. But that would Just ruin the load."

"I won't be impressed with science until I can download a waffle."

"The inventor of predictive text has died His funfair is hello on sundial."

"Did you hear Microsoft have started giving away Office free to parents? Word to your mother."

"The first time I had sex I cried I don't know whether it was the physical contact, emotional connection, or pepper spray but any way I teared up."