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Joke of the Day

"Can I tell you a joke? Your bum broke! hahaha! We loved this lame-ass joke as kids"

"Apparently fat people in scooters despise being called a cripple-potamous"

"Those Jihad magicians really need to learn new tricks... I'm tired of watching reporters get sawn in half."

"I don't often get suspicious,but squirrels rubbing their tiny hands together? I worry they won the lottery & hired a good hit & run attorney"

"[creation of insects] LIGHTNING BUG: I will illuminate the night BEE: I will pollinate flowers FLY: I will eat shit and die"

"What's the difference between a theatre-snack muncher and a person who watches police sex scenes? One likes popcorn, the other likes cop-porn."

"""Spring is in the air"" I proclaim as I hurl a Slinky at your head."

"I like my women like I like my whiskey... Light brown, from the south, and kept in a lightless cabinet only to be taken out on special occasions."

"What jobs have you found out about that made you think ""why does this exist""?"

"Masochist meets sadist. ""Torture me"", saids masochists. Sadist replies: ""No way"""