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Joke of the Day

"What did the gay man say to his cheating boyfriend? I see you already have your shit packed, now get out."

"I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"""Food expiration dates are lies. It's all about control."" My knife breaks as I cut into a plate of milk. ""I'm saving this for later."""

"Women are like Fruits. Every Woman has her own unique taste and color. But The problem is the Men. They seem to love Fruit salad..!!"

"""who else wakes up in the morning and checks their Facebook like its the morning newspaper??"""

"Growing up, I had lots of nicknames but my best would always be 'Officer! That's him over there'... It gave me my sprinter's physique."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's an obscure number, you have probably never heard of it."

"I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works."

"How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar? Throw it under a bus."

"How about how some people are SO gothed out but still drive a Ford Focus and shit?! Make your vehicle goth or you ain't shit."