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Joke of the Day

"How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar? Throw it under a bus."

"What happens when the lights go out in a Chinese restaurant? It'll Dimsum."

"Does shaking the vending machine count as working out?"

"I just did all the math and it turns out that girls have tweeted ""Sushi time!"" on 4,362,622,021 different occasions."

"What do bears get at raves? Mauly."

"Why are black people unable to get a Ph.D.? Because they can't get past their masters."

"What company makes Nerds? Your mom."

"She told me she ""literally died laughing,"" and that's when I realized she had to be a zombie and shot her in the face."

"A man dies of an overdose of Viagra They couldn't close his coffin..."

"Why did Hugh Jackman single handedly stop a Franciscan botanist from accidentally dropping a match in the forest? Because only Hugh can prevent florist friars."