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Joke of the Day
"""who else wakes up in the morning and checks their Facebook like its the morning newspaper??"""
Next Joke
"Guys, freedom of speech doesn't mean you can spell things any way you want to."
"Knock Knock Somebody knocks on door: - Who is there? - Police? - What do you want? - We want to talk. - How many of you are there? - Two. - So talk with each other."
"Why shouldn't you look at a cup of ranch? Because it's still dressing."
"[first date] Me: that is hilarious Date: ... Me: wait, bread or dead? Date: how would my parents be bread?"
"ATTENTION LADIES: I will now be downgrading expectations from someone I can love to someone I can tolerate. Act now while this amazing deal still lasts!"
"what does one do on the fine summers day when the toothbacks all say tooth?"
"50 years ago, nerds were smart. Now a nerd is just someone who likes Star Wars and eats a lot of cereal."
"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's That's because she changes it more often."
"Why suicidal people are usually skinny because most likely, they haven't eaten in years."