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Joke of the Day

"Walk up to someone drinking coffee and ask them if their coffee tastes different today. Then smile and walk away."

"When I die, I want to go out like my Grandfather... in his sleep... Not like the other passengers in his car!"

"What happens in BSDM when you fuck the wrong person? Oops, wrong sub."

"Saved a man from a speeding car Man: Can't trust anyone Me: True Man: Us old ones got to stick together Pushed him in front of the next car"

"I just read that Stevie Wonder is filing for divorce. I guess in the end, they just didn't share the same views!"

"Mario! Are you coming to save me from Bowser's Castle? PEACH I MIGHT BE"

"I Like my women like i like my elevators.... If I push their buttons, they'll go down."

"I know I'm being such a grammar Nazi, but it's ""Jew-rats make me NAUSEATED,"" not ""Jew-rats make me NAUSEOUS"""

"You get home from work early. You walk into the kitchen and your dog is peeling a potato. Startled, she yells ""IT'S JUST A POTATO!"" #ambien"

"You can lead a horse to water You can leave your horse behind. Cuz your horse don't dance n if he don't dance then he ain't no horse of mine"