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Joke of the Day

"I know I'm being such a grammar Nazi, but it's ""Jew-rats make me NAUSEATED,"" not ""Jew-rats make me NAUSEOUS"""

"If you feel like someone is playing mind games with you, they totally are and you should kill them before they kill you."

"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottsman? The Rolling Stones say ""Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!"" And a Scottsman says ""Hey McLeod, get of me ewe!"""

"When I will die... When I will die, I want my last words to be : ""I hid 1 billion dollars in the..."""

"What's the best part of eating a burrito? Every time you fart, you lose weight."

"Nothing is certain but death and iTunes updates."

"I ordered myself an Eastern European bride online. SO EXCITED. Just received confirmation... My Czech is in the mail!"

"Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: Because they don't know where home is."

"Why I don't joke about politicians? Because I don't joke about jokes."

"Yo Mama so fat her Patronus was a cheeseburger.."