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Joke of the Day

"What happens in BSDM when you fuck the wrong person? Oops, wrong sub."

"What do they do with Tickle-Me-Elmo's before he leaves the factory? Give him a couple of test-tickles."

"I watched my first Porn the other day I looked so much younger back then!"

"[first date] -so how do you feel about octopus? Her: I like em -Whew! [lets other six arms fall out of shirt]"

"My favorite response to someone asking how something works... ""Magic"" even when I do know how it works. Because Lazy"

"Whoever said nothing is impossible is a liar. I've been doing nothing for years."

"I accidentally took 1 of my girlfriend's multivitamins for women & I've been looking at engagement rings & crying uncontrollably for 4 hours"

"""First off I want to wish my opponent the best of luck and oh god. OH GOD NO"" - presidential candidate accidentally using their 3rd wish"

"A pirate walks into a bar... With his ship's steering wheel on his dick. The bartender asks, ""Whats with the wheel on your john?"" the pirate replied, ""Arrg it's driving me nuts!"""

"How can you tell who's the Polish Jew at The Wailing Wall? He's the guy with the harpoon."