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Joke of the Day

"Why are Jewish men circumcised ? Because a Jewish woman won't touch anything unless it's 50% off."

"A rabbi, an Irishman, and a clown walk into a bar The bartender says ""This has to be a joke."""

"What is the derivative of 151? Poke(dx)"

"I once knew two ranchers named Jim.... They had a thousand cattle between them. One night while unwaken. Their cattle were taken. My Jimmy's were rustled, shagrin."

"What's Santa's favourite metal band? Sleigher."

"Caller: Operator! Operator! I don't know what's wrong with my phone but I can't make long distance calls any longer! Operator: Don't worry. Your long distance calls are long enough already!"

"Why did Dave Grohl buy such a tall house? He wanted to make sure he was getting the best, the best, the best, the best-a view."

"Don't blindfold an Asian with a shoe lace. That's lacist."

"Dolphins are just Sharks who watch Glee."

"What are the only two similarities between my favorite buger joint, and the orgy I just had? Nothing but Five Guys, extra salty EDIT: Also, I can't type. Burger*"