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Joke of the Day

"I figured something was fishy with my doctor when he was giving me a rectal exam, but he had both hands on my shoulders."

"If your name got called on The Price is Right, it'd be fun to scream, jump up and down, and then run full speed out of the studio"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic atheistic insomniac? He lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog."

"My wife says if this post gets thousand upvotes, we can do anal. I'm tired of the other posts. It's me in her."

"If the bride tosses you the bouquet, how long are you allowed to beat her with it?"

"I've been going through a really rough period at work this week It's my own fault for swapping my tampax for sand paper."

"""i feel bad for homeless people, BUT"" 9 times out of 10 nothing good comes after this"

"My wife tried to buy something online yesterday.... Anyone know how to get a credit card out of a floppy drive?"

"So afraid of commitment I only play ""Words With Acquaintances""."

"How many ""suh dude""s does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. It's already lit fam"